This has really been a challenging year for me. I say year, most people would say few months but when you work in the school system the year seems to start with the new school year. Anyway, lots of things have been going on. No, I can not go into detail because my job is a job no matter what. Neverless I have been seeing lately how much God has been "pruning" me. I went through my spell of anger and temper tantrums. I felt (and sometimes still do)so distant from anyone including God. From everyone else simply because of my trust issues. Knowing who to trust is a hard thing for me. However trusting in God comes very easy to me so feeling so distant has been very hard and I have had to pray consistantly about it. Like others have said it is not God that moves away it is us. I have been striving to live more by faith and not by my feelings anyway. God has shown me over and over that He is still there and everything will be okay. This too shall pass (my situation). I can see that my trial is a long way from being over but there is nothing like being able to see just how much God is doing in my life. I have a long ways to go but He is continuously showing me that He is not done with me, is not leaving me, and will never give up on me. Hallelujah!! Praise God!! It is nice to not feel so distant anymore or angry. I am finally feeling humble. God never passes up an opportunity to show me that I am not in control He is. Without Him I can not get through and without Him nothing I do makes since. When I feel I have no friends to confide in He shows up and says "I am right here, I am listening, let's talk". When I insist on talking to a face I can physically see He waits patiently for me to realize He is the only one that I can find comfort in. When I get angry and try to handle things my way He waits quietly for me to throw my fit and then calmly redirects me. He truely is my rock and my salvation. He teaches me in ways I never thought possible and others would never believe even if I could find the words to explain it to them. He has brought me through so many valleys and storms. He is the only reason I am here to be writing this today. I was begging Him for a while to remove the obstacles from my path that I could not remove myself because I was too weak. I could not understand why He couldn't just take it from me. I see now that I have to go through this to get to where He needs me to be. I have things that need to be worked on and He is pointing them out to me and teaching me how to deal with them - with Him and not on my own. It is definitely not easy but He never said it would be.
Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
